THE AE JOURNAL

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Wednesday, November 18, 2009

At a time where playful tugs became love taps-- I transformed into an innovator

<< Image: A very young Amanda A. Ebokosia

If I could sit back and step outside the box of my life, it would most likely parallel a Lifetime series. I'm certain that I am not the only one, who would describe their life in this way. Life is so precious-- I was so fortunate to see this as a young ten year-old gal, who was clad with a purple trench coat that had dazzling pink buttons. "This" 10 year-old gal was captivated by the world around her-- inquisitive much? Yes. "This" 10 year-old gal would climb hills and fill her red lunch box with ants and millipedes--- and run home and turn into a scientist for the day. "This" 10 year-old gal would lay on her back on the pavement outside of her school backyard to watch the beautiful cloud formations in the sky. "This" 10 year-old gal was I.

I dreamed without limitations then-- as I do so now.

What did I see in these cloud formations? rabbits, houses, beaches, my family, & everything I ever desired.

I saw it all, my visions of life. I had tunnel vision. This was a vision that most girls my age were not quite picking up on. Their body's were changing-- and they were noticing guys. I wasn't really interesting in such things then.

Well, what does this have to do with today? Everything.

Life was just one big puzzle back then. I don't think life will ever stop being a puzzle quite frankly. There was only one thing that I was sure of. It was that I should remain focused in what interested me, despite what others were doing--even if I was not considered to be in the norm. Who is normal anyway?

Now I'm reflecting on a conversation that I had with a good friend of mine, who was dismayed with the negative energy she was receiving with her newly acclaimed success. I started referencing the 48 Laws of Power, which has an interesting passage about friendship & business. In summation, we discussed how the higher an individual climbs up the pyramid of success-- the less persons they would have to befriend in the process.

A person can have several associates but it's highly unlikely that a they would become friends--close friends with each one. In fact, I discussed research findings about the complications of female platonic relationships over (here).

We concluded several things in this conversation, here are the results:

Don't take negative energy personal from associates or people who you thought were your friends. Reason: All the energy you're spending time worrying about what they are saying, can be harnessed to fuel you or your projects.
Negative energy comes from within. It is toxic when you hear it. The person releasing it is also toxic. Therefore, be upset for only one thing-- that this person is not happy with their own current situation-- it has nothing really to do with you. Reason: Negative energy is like a cancer-- if it spreads it captures-- you must win the battle.
People will do wrong by you, there is no secret to this-- we are all human. Don't take it personally -- focus and flip the switch that turns that tunnel vision on. Reason: When you focus and pay attention to what matters most, you'll attain your goals a lot faster. Don't waste precious time.

Live your life- turn on that tunnel vision.

Labels: control, friendship, goals, happiness, life, life application, success

Monday, April 20, 2009

@ THE PEAK @ 23

NOTICE:There was a computer glitch and caused a few words to not go through properly. My apologies-- I will fix it later.

"A smart leader knows their audience. The leader molds to suit and relate to them like a chameleon. SHE/HE knows that every group is different. Therefore, HER/HIS approach is different". — This is my discovery at XXIII-A.EBOKOSIA.

I’ve been frustrated this past week because I had about 3 articles backed up to post. I decided to erase all of them and forget consistency and for just a moment. I rather write one good one to keep you all up to date.

A lot has happened these past few days. I wish I could have recorded everything on tape for instant replay. As you know, I am in two productions in NY one is about love the other is about a documentary on models which is set to air this fall. I have been consumed mostly with my many hours of studying each day for my MCATS. My assistant helps a lot with image and her daily assigned tasks—to keep my projects up and running. It is almost as if I had a clone—

The week before my birthday I was very pensive. I thought a lot about what I’ve done and what I wish to accomplish this year. When I was 19 I did a great deal—I lived like popcorn. I was the kernel just waiting to pop. A lot has changed since then. I am more modest and appreciated becoming the foreground of a painting by just taking time to sit back and observe people. I became a better leader. This is why I say, “A smart leader knows their audience. The leader molds only to suit and relate to their audience like a chameleon. I know that every group is different. Therefore, I must approach every situation differently”. That’s my motto/philosophy/ and truths that sum up to the person who I am today.

Let’s all be like popcorn—be the kernel and burst out!

I am living to be a better woman every hour, minute, and second. I do not say tomorrow is a fresh start or a brand new day to get it right. I get it right—right now. If it’s not right, I make it right.

I told my close friend, Lianna, about my quest for perfection in many aspects of my life once. I know that there is no need to worry about such things. I have since come to terms with my perfectionist attitude– I just try to use my flaws to my advantage. I wrote a poem about it—and NO it will not be in the Raindrops volume II edition. It went something like, “ I am not the woman I wish to be maybe I will reach her at twenty-thre… just maybe I will reach her”. Pstt please that had to be about 2 weeks before I turned viente y tres , I AM THE WOMAN I WISH TO BE. Sometimes in life you are hit with lessons so fast that it leaves you thinking that it was almost last minute.
I am never going to be perfect ---period.

The birthday week was spent with friends who I love and who have my best interests at heart. I also started to expand my cooking techniques. My friend Jess says, she got a cooking book for me so I guess I’m going to be extra busy in my kitchen now.
Above are some photos of my latest dish of lasagna *smiles*--“look ma I did it myself!”

I won’t go into detail about what I did on my XXIII birthday, but I will say I spent it with two lovely gals, Lianna and Erin. We shall play Pétanque --soon.

Labels: bdays, cooking, leader, mcats, success

Friday, March 20, 2009

UNIFICATION-THE GEM PROJECT, INC.THEN AND NOW-my silence is broken.

The first day of Spring could not have arrived sooner! I woke up in a fright when I first saw that it was snowing this morning.Luckily, just as quickly as the snow fell it left and since melted away.The aside flower photo on the left was taken with my phone. I took it a few days ago when I was on my morning run.I am so glad that I can wave my palm to winter, like some horrible ending to a movie that just seemed to drag and mislead all who watched. I proudly hold my cup of fine pure Spring water and say,"CHEERS TO NEW BEGINNINGS". Spring is my favorite season.. It's not too hot nor is it too cold. I can't wait until it does get warmer so I can dust off all my pretty spring/summer dresses.

A few days ago I got too happy when I felt a slight touch of sun. Yes, I was that lady who you walked passed, and may have muttered under your breath, "What is she thinking?". I came out in my denim shorts and leather cowboy boots as if I lived in California and not chilly Jersey in the middle of Winter.

-I did not think I would pull one of those again-

I have been quiet about The Gem Project because it is going through an expansion period and I am trying to run it differently. Several of the events this term has been halted in an effort to have a smooth transition.I have realized that in order to build a strong infrastructure with an organization-you must iron all wrinkles. In due time I plan on expanding and having a new staff aboard to help execute our goals effectively. I also need to observe the tactics I use as a leader and face my flaws. I have a few flaws I am trying to battle. I see The Gem Project thriving and becoming something beautiful and well needed in our community today.

-I MUST ACT SMART IN THE DECISIONS I MAKE-

I am also amending my BY LAWS of the way my organization is governed- and taking the proper avenues in becoming a better leader.

I am flawed. I admit that but I have passion and that is what has driven many of my thoughts into action.

A successful leader faces his/her flaws with their best armor and face!

Let the games begin. I am suited and ready for great results this year.

Labels: bold, control, life, life application, success

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

What is Success?, Start a Vision Board

CURRENTLY: Typing this post via phone

MOOD: Tired. So tired I could just fall asleep eating

I had an interesting conversation the other night about what exactly defines success. I believe success is the moment where you have reached your goals. I also believe in order for you to continue to have success, you must want more. You should never settle but continue to add to your list, the list of things you wish to fulfill. What separates a dreamer from a striver is the ability to take risks and do the unimaginable, while giving little regard as to what others may think. I am living proof of that! I remember quite a few times where I would dream out loud and tell my friends with confidence about my vision of the moment. My eyes would dilate and my voice would tremble full of excitement because I knew they thought I had lost a few marbles. Perhaps, they may even have thought I was just talking out of my –you-know-what, but that never stopped me. I read a book which quoted the music artist, Usher Raymond, which he stated the following,"A Striver does what dreamer believes!"

He hit it on the nail with that one. Well, shortly after I finisheddreaming out loud I would go into action, listing out my plan with pencil and paper. Suddenly I started to turn what was once a dream into reality. I can’t explain what it is like to witness your dreams unfold before your eyes. Trying to attain success is not easy; I believe it takes both sacrifice and a whole lot of passion. You have to constantly remind yourself about your goals in order to keep moving forward. People may even deny you at first but that should not matter. Once you start believing in yourself others will soon follow, and when you start magically turning your dreams into reality you would have officially reached your own success. You should never settle at a certain point because just as quickly as you attained your success, you will just as quickly lose it. There is always someone out there that wants it just a little bit more than you. This is why if you want to keep it you must keep pushing forward.

I started a vision board a while ago after reading the book, The Secret. I wanted to do something that would motivate me to complete my goals, but was also very creative. A vision board is a regular board that has magazine/paper clippings pasted on it of things that you wish to do, desire, and have. You can then place your vision board some place where you frequent a lot. It is great because it allows you to continue to be reminded about your goals and it also forces you to to think positive thoughts. My vision board is always incomplete. I will post a photo next post ! Go on make your own vision board! Bring your friends, a pile of old/new magazines, chips & dip…. make it a fun filled event!

Labels: life, success, vision board